4 Practices for Finding Your Joy in Jesus

​Last week was my 33rd birthday! I celebrated with a free hoagie from a favorite local restaurant and hiking at a favorite spot to enjoy the fall weather and colors with my family.

If 10 years ago you would have told I’d still be single at 33, I would have cried tears of sorrow and hopelessness.

If 10 years ago you also would have told me I’d actually be content, be proud of myself, be filled with joy and hope and gratitude in still being single at 33, I would have laughed incredulously. Yeah, right.

​But deep in my heart, I would have also asked, How?

How could I have joy and contentment and hope when these long-held dreams still hadn’t come true?

Maybe you’re asking that too: How?

In a word: Jesus.

Perhaps you read that and think, I know that, Jessica. But still, how?

Anyone who’s been single in the church, who’s spent time waiting for dreams to come true, who’s experienced the disappointment of life not turning out as you’d hoped, has been given the advice to be content in Christ, to be grateful for what you have, to find your joy in Jesus.

And we can know this in our heads—that our joy is found in Christ, that it is possible to be content in Him, that we can give thanks in all circumstances—but in our hearts, we still feel discontent and dissatisfied.

In our hearts we’re still asking, How?

What does finding our joy in Jesus and learning contentment in Christ practically look like when life is hard and heavy, when my heart aches with longing and loneliness, when everyone but me seems to be getting their dream?

Joy is the fruit of abiding in Christ:

​“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing… I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” John 15:4-5, 11

​I spent much of my twenties learning contentment in my singleness and learning to find my joy in Jesus.

And much of that learning has been learning to abide more and more in Christ.

While I’m certainly not perfect at this and still at times feel discontent and find myself thinking If only I were married…, I have found practices that help me focus my mind and fix my heart on Jesus, abiding in Him and finding my joy in Him, in both happiness and hardship.

And I believe these practices can help you too, because they’re ones God has given to us in His Word as instructions and invitations for abiding in Christ and finding our joy in Him:

Praise Him for who He is
Scripture tells us our God is good, faithful, loving, kind, just, gracious, mighty, sovereign, merciful, trustworthy, unchanging, holy, wise, patient, compassionate.

And He is still all of this even in the midst of hardships and heart ache.

This is why we can still have joy and hope even as we walk through hard times, experience loneliness, and hold unfulfilled dreams.

Because God is who He is. Always. (Heb. 13:8)

And this is why Scripture calls us to “praise him for his abundant greatness.” (Ps. 150:2) Not only because He is worthy of our praise, but because praise turns our gaze to Him, reminding our hearts of who He is—that He is enough.

Thank Him for what He has done
Praise and thanksgiving often go together. As we praise God for who He is, we also recognize the ways He has acted in goodness, faithfulness, love, kindness, grace, power, wisdom, patience, mercy, and compassion in our own lives.

Giving thanks to Him for what He has done for us helps us be more aware of and able to delight in the goodness, beauty, and joy already in our lives because of Jesus.

Participate in what He is doing
Joy is a fruit of walking with the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23). This doesn’t necessarily mean if you’re lacking joy that you’re not reading your Bible enough or praying enough or singing enough worship songs.

It means we must continue to submit to the Spirit’s shaping, cultivating, and leading in our lives as He grows us in Christ-likeness (Gal. 5:16, 25). It means we must continue to participate in what God is doing in our lives (2 Pet. 1:3-8), trusting that He is working good and will continue His good work until it is complete (Rom. 8:28; Phil. 1:6)

It also means that joy isn’t something we have to contrive and manufacture through our own will-power. We can ask Jesus for joy! Because it is a gift He desires to grow and bear forth in our spirits by His Spirit in us.

Anticipate what He is going to do
Because of who Jesus is, because of all He has done for us, because of the work He is doing in us, we can anticipate with confident hope the glorious goodness He has in store for us (Rom. 8:18; Titus 2:13).

We can be assured that even as we’re still waiting for dreams to come true, even if our dreams never come true, our lives will still be good and beautiful.

Because, in a word: Jesus.

There’s something to remember as you practice these things and make them a part of your daily walk with the Lord and they become more and more the posture of your heart: it takes time.

It was about 7 years from when I really started to intentionally find my joy in Jesus to when I could truly say I had contentment and joy in Christ in my singleness.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that in the Bible, joy (and other Christ-like characteristics we’re called to emulate) is likened to fruit: that which is to be tended and cultivated and grow, day by day and season by season.

We’re always growing in our relationship with Jesus, becoming more and more rooted in Him as our joy.

I hope in sharing these practices, you’re inspired to personalize them for your own daily walk with the Spirit, as He cultivates, grows, and bears forth the joy of the Lord in your heart and life.

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These ideas for cultivating contentment in singleness are simple practices you can start doing today to shift your focus to Jesus' goodness in your right now life.

Because as we abide in Jesus’ enoughness, we will experience His abundance, and our contentment in singleness will grow into all out joy!