In the writing, teaching, and ministry I do, both online and in my local church and friendships, I often think of myself as an “advocate for joyful singleness.”

This doesn’t mean I think we have to enjoy every aspect of singleness or can’t have a desire for marriage.

It means I believe that in Christ, we can live joyfully in singleness and lean into the goodness of singleness, for however long we’re single, even as we may hope and long for marriage.

​Earlier this month, I went to a funeral for a friend’s father-in-law.
Also earlier this month, my youngest sister invited me over to help her begin wedding planning!
A couple weeks ago, I went to church and needed a hug, so I went to my dad and got that hug, and was able to cry off some of the stress I was feeling.
That same day at church I helped a couple of boys memorize John 3:16. Then the following Sunday I helped some teens memorize 1 Corinthians 5:6-7.

This summer marks two years since I moved into my apartment. Moving wasn’t something I had planned on doing until about 4 months beforehand.

This move meant living by myself for the first time, and little did I know it would mean many more first time experiences.

Some of those new experiences included new worries: I found myself feeling stressed about finances, anxious about my health, and overwhelmed by responsibilities and decisions in ways I hadn’t before.

How do I change my view of singleness to stop seeing it as less than marriage?

This is a question I wish I had known the answer to about 7 years ago: I was 24 and coming to realize that my singleness was stealing my joy. Or rather, that I was allowing discontentment about my singleness to take root in my heart.

And when discontentment is the root, joy won’t be the fruit.

​I live by myself in a small apartment, so a large part of my time is spent alone. Cooking and eating meals, washing dishes, grocery shopping, working on my budget, watching a show, going for a walk, making a craft—most days, I’m doing all of this solo.

And that’s true for many single people.

Navigating the day-in and day-out of life as a single person can burdensome. And let’s be honest, it can also be boring. Doing all the mundane, grown-up things by ourselves--what’s the fun in that?