Encouragement for When You're Afraid of Missing God's Plan for Your Life

​I was once told by a 9 year-old girl that if I had gone to college, I would probably be married by now.

I was 24 at the time. Now I’m almost 30, and I’m still single.

Maybe that 9 year-old girl was right?

I know countless couples who met in college. But I also know countless couples who didn’t meet until after college or who didn’t go to college and still met. And I know countless single women who never went to college or who ended college with no ring by spring.

​While it’s funny that a 9 year-old would give relationship and life advice, there are times when I don’t feel like laughing.

Failing & Falling

There are times when I feel like I’m failing or falling behind because my life isn’t following a certain timeline set by my own expectations, the expectations of others, and what is seen as normal and best by society and culture and even the church.

I start to wonder: Should I have? Did I take a wrong turn somewhere? Am I missing some sign or calling?

There is a fear that maybe somewhere along the way, I’ve missed God’s purpose and plan for me.

Have you ever felt this fear?

The times this fear tends to show up for me are when:

• I’m afraid I’m not meeting the expectations of others
• I’m disappointed that my life hasn’t gone how I dreamed it would
• I feel like I don’t fit in or belong because my life looks different than those around me

At times, I take these feelings of disappointment - whether it’s disappointing others, or being disappointed myself - and project them onto God: Have I disappointed Him? Am I failing Him? Do I fall short in His eyes?

Shepherd & Sheep

In the Bible, our relationship with God is often described using the metaphor a shepherd and his sheep.

Psalm 23 describes the character and caring leadership of our shepherd: “The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.” (v. 1)

In John 10, Jesus says, “I am the good shepherd.” (v. 11)

In both of these passages the emphasis is on showing the character of the Shepherd - who He is; showing the will of Shepherd - what He desires for us; and showing the way of the Shepherd - how He leads those who follow Him.

In light of this, we see our need for getting to know the Shepherd as His sheep; we see our need for relationship with Him.

​“I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me.” John 10:14

​​As we get to know our Good Shepherd, growing our trust in Him, resting in His love and care, listening to His voice, following His leading, this is obedience in relationship.

​“The sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice.” John 10:3-4

Obedience & Relationship

The idea of wrong turns and missing signs and letting God down makes our relationship with Him about following rules.

It turns what was meant to be a day-by-day, learning and growing, abiding and becoming, journey of faith, into a robotic moving from point A to point B.

It turns a love story with perils and victories, joys and sorrows, twists and turns, development of character and deepening of plot, into a linear, black and white, pass or fail test.

Obedience in relationship with God is not following rules for rules’ sake, but following God’s will and way because we trust His character, His heart for us and for those around us.

​“He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.” Psalm 23:2-4

Because we have a Good Shepherd leading and caring for us, we can’t miss God’s purpose for us in the sense that these fears of failing and falling behind would have us believe.

The purpose and plans God has for us are not about following a timeline or map to succeed or achieve or earn or win. 

Obedience to God’s purpose and plans for us is about relationship with a real, living, and lovingly involved person: our Good Shepherd; our heavenly Father who pursue us, Jesus Christ who laid down His life for us, the Holy Spirit who comforts us.

So whether you’re facing a big decision and are afraid of making the wrong choice; whether you’re weighted by shame of wrong choices in your past; whether you’re burdened by the pressures and expectations of measuring up and succeeding; or whether you’re confused and uncertain about where you went wrong and what you missed, look to your Good Shepherd.

Sit at His feet. Listen to His voice. Rest in His care. Bask in His love. His arms are open, and He will not lead you astray.

​“Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23:6