How to Be More Confident in Your Identity in Christ Part 4: Pride in Self vs. Confidence in Christ

​Self-esteem, self-confidence, self-worth.

All these words start with the same word: self.

We’d all probably say we want to have self-esteem, to be confident enough to just be ourselves without shame and fear, to believe we are worthy just as we are without having to earn it or prove it.

In fact, one of my goals for this year is to learn to be myself in Christ. To embrace the woman God created me as, with all my strengths, weaknesses, quirks, and qualities.

It’s a big goal, and probably one I’ll be working on for the rest of my life.

Maybe this is hope, a dream, a goal you have for yourself as well.

​​In past posts in this series, we’ve talked about finding our worth, our enough-ness, our identity in Christ alone.

In Christ alone - that’s really important for us to remember. True self-confidence, self-worth, and self-esteem come not from starting with self, but from starting with Jesus - placing our confidence in Him and believing what He says about us.

Something that can keep us from confidence in Christ is pride in self.

Pride in Self

In our vocabulary, there is healthy pride, which could also be called self-esteem or self-respect.

But unhealthy pride - the sinful pride Scripture warns us against - puts self at the very center. It tells us we are sufficient in and of ourselves - that we can do what really only God can do, and so don’t need Him. Or at least, don’t need Him completely and desperately.

That may seem like an extreme way to put it, so maybe we don’t think we’re prideful.

But there are many ways this belief of self-sufficiency can show itself in our lives: 

• Relying on our own strength and understanding instead of God’s
• Not asking for help or advice because we don’t want to seem needy
• Doing good things just to check the boxes of being a good Christian
• The need to always be productive keeping us from being still and resting
• Perfectionism
• Being judgmental of others
• Being unreceptive to constructive criticism
• Superficiality - being more concerned with outward appearance than inward character
• Selfishness
• Worrying about the future in an attempt to control possible outcomes

Pride keeps us from having confidence in Christ because it keeps us from living in dependence on Christ.

It places self at the center of our identity, purpose, and worth, rather than centering these on our relationship with Jesus.

When our relationship with Jesus isn’t at the center of our identity, pride sets up what I’ve come to think of as Identity Idols.

​Identity Idols

I use the term identity idols for those things in our life that we take pride in as being what gives us worth and significance.

I first thought about this idea of identity idols when reading Philippians 3, where Paul lists his own identity idols:

I could have confidence in my own effort if anyone could. Indeed, if others have reason for confidence in their own efforts, I have even more!
I was circumcised when I was eight days old. I am a pure-blooded citizen of Israel and a member of the tribe of Benjamin—a real Hebrew if there ever was one! I was a member of the Pharisees, who demand the strictest obedience to the Jewish law. I was so zealous that I harshly persecuted the church. And as for righteousness, I obeyed the law without fault.
​Philippians 3:4-6

​​Pauls lists such things as his nationality, his heritage, his social standing, his doctrine, his accomplishments, and his good works as reasons he could put confidence in his own efforts - his own sufficiency - for his righteousness and worthiness.

Remember, pride is believing we are self-sufficient.

Are there ways in which you are trying to be self-sufficient for your righteousness and worthiness?
​Are there things you are taking a pride in yourself as being what gives you worth and significance?

It could be anything from accomplishing your goals to reading your Bible to success in your career to your relationship status.

These things aren’t bad in and of themselves, but when we find our identity in them instead of Jesus, they become idols.

Confidence in Christ

We can’t put confidence in our self-sufficiency because we are not sufficient in ourselves. We need Jesus.

Paul goes on in Philippians 3:

I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith.   Philippians 3:7-9

​​Paul says those identity idols, those reasons he has for confidence in himself, are all worthless in making us righteous (the biblical word for good enough). The only One who can make us righteous is Jesus, because He died for our sins (that which makes us not good enough) on the cross.

The many things we could accomplish and achieve and point to as proof of our worth are worthless when compared to knowing Jesus. In fact, they are worth even giving up to know Jesus more.

Are there things you’ve put so much confidence in, taken so much pride in, made into your identity, that if Jesus were to ask you to give them up, you wouldn’t be able to?

In my own life, I’ve encountered the danger of setting up identity idols in ministries I’ve been involved in. I’ve had to be careful that my serving doesn’t become what defines me instead of the One I serve.

​We become more confident in our identity in Christ when we lay down our pride, removing self from the center of our confidence, worth, and identity, and centering these things around our relationship with Jesus instead.

This removal of self doesn’t mean we don’t have our own personalities. When we are confident in our identity in Christ, not worried about proving ourselves, then our true selves - our God-given personalities, gifts, and passions - can shine bright for His glory.

Continue reading: How to Be More Confident in Your Identity in Christ Part 5: Growing in Christ-likeness