3 Truths about Your Purpose in Singleness

​I was at one of those events that all the family and family friends come to. I greeted one friend I hadn’t seen in quite awhile, and we began catching up.

After sharing about different aspects of my life, from work to DIY projects to travel, the inevitable question came: Have you met anyone special yet?

I answered that no, I hadn’t met anyone special yet, and as the conversation came to a close, they said with a consoling smile, “Well, it sounds like you’re just waiting for the one.”

​At this, I wanted to grab their shoulders, give them a little shake, and shout, “Is that all you think my life is? Just waiting? Did you not hear anything else I said?”

But really, their assessment wasn’t a whole lot different from what my own was not too long before this conversation.

Just a couple years earlier, if someone asked me about my relationship status and what I was currently doing with my life, I would have responded with something like, “I want to be married, but I’m not, so in the meantime I’m just…”

In the meantime, I’m just doing these things to kill this time until I meet “the one” and my life can really begin.

In my singleness, I felt not only discontent, but also purposeless. And it’s no wonder; I believed that singleness was less purposeful than marriage. So I was living my singleness as if I was just waiting for “the one.”

Often, marriage and motherhood are painted as the ultimate purpose of Christian womanhood, elevating romance above all other relationships, and degrading singleness to being significant only as prep time for marriage.

But the idea that singleness is less purposeful than marriage, or that marriage is a Christian woman’s ultimate purpose, is not biblical truth.

And when we believe this lie that our purpose is wrapped up in our relationship status, there are other lies the enemy will use to distract us from our true purpose in Christ and steal the time, talents, and opportunities He has given us in this season.

Here are 3 lies I’ve believed about singleness and purpose, and truth about our purpose in Christ that will help us live our single lives purposefully:

The lie: My real purpose will begin once I’m married
​The truth: My real purpose - to know God and make Him known - began the moment my life began

​In the beginning, when God created all of creation, He established our purpose: 

So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.   Genesis 1:27

This is why we were created and who we were created to be: in His image.

Being created in the image of God means first that we are created for relationship with God.

God is Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, in perfect communion together. And God created us in love to enter into communion with Him.

Being created in the image of God also means we are created to reflect His character in our relationships with others - all our relationships, not just the romantic ones.

This means our real purpose has already begun. We don’t have to, and we shouldn’t, wait until marriage to live it out with passion and intention. How we live it out may look different in different seasons of life, but the purpose remains the same: know God and make Him known.

The lie: Singleness is about becoming ready for marriage
The truth: Singleness (and every season of life) is about becoming more like Christ

After God created man and woman in His image, He blessed them:

Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.   Genesis 1:28

In this blessing, God gives us a mission to steward the image in which we are created and to care for the world around us.

The phrase “be fruitful” isn’t just talking about having babies. The literal translation from the Hebrew word parah is “bear fruit.” It speaks of being productive, doing good work, creating and cultivating.*

In Galatians 5:22-23, we read about the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

There are many other places in Scripture where similar characteristics are listed as ones we as followers of Jesus are to have.

Really, these characteristics are about having Christ-like character. If our ultimate purpose is to live in right relationship with God and reflect Him in our relationships with others, then singleness (and every other season of life) is about growing in Christ-likeness: becoming more and more like Jesus, who while on earth walked in perfect relationship with His Father and exactly represented God in human form.

The lie: Singleness is a holding pattern until marriage
​The truth: Singleness holds beauty, joy, and purpose right now

Singleness was never meant to be lived “in the meantime,” as something less abundant than marriage.

Singleness was meant to be lived in relationship with Jesus, and it is this relationship that brings beauty, joy, and purpose. It is this relationship that brings abundant life.

In John 10:10, Jesus promises those who are living in relationship with Him, “I have come that may have life, and have it more abundantly.”

I have come. The abundance - the fulfillment, the meaning, the fullness of life - is Jesus, not marriage.

So rather than waiting for marriage to live our lives with purpose or making our purpose all about finding “the one”, we can live purposefully and abundantly right now, knowing Jesus and making Him known.

*from The New Strong's Expanded Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible