Are you in deep waters right now? Deep sorrow or deep hurt or deep confusion or deep shame or deep loneliness or deep fear? So deep you wonder if your cries will echo out and your voice will be heard, or if they will be drowned by the rushing of the water’s swallowing up?
Maybe you’re getting tired of crying. Maybe your getting tired of trying to stay afloat.
I’m in a place of deep. A place of deep wondering and wandering with seemingly no answers and no direction. For a long time, I felt I was in a waiting period. I wasn’t sure what I was waiting for or how long I would wait, but I was waiting on God. Now, the feeling of waiting has seemingly passed, and I feel directionless. I’m just here. Here and only wanting to cry, my tears mixing in with this water surrounding me.
The writer of Psalm 130 was also in the depths and crying out from the black. They penned so well the cries of this heart. The cries of many hearts. Lord, hear my voice. Let Your ears be attentive to my cry. (Psalm 130:1-2)
We can learn from the other words this writer penned, and if they too become the cries of our hearts, the deep will not be so threatening, for we rely on the depth of who God is.
God forgives, He redeems, His love is unfailing. Even in the deep, His love is everlasting. Even in the deep, His forgiveness eradicates guilt and shame. Even in the deep, His redemption saves from sin and death and fear, and makes new. If God is for us, who can be against us? If we serve One of such deep love and mercy and grace, what deep can drown us?
I’ve found that here in this deep, where the my goals and directions and things to pursue are elusively tossed about on crashing waves, all that’s left to seek after is God and all of His righteousness. That’s all that’s left, because that’s all there is. Those goals and dreams and plans don’t really matter without Him, won’t fulfill more than Him, do not have purpose outside of Him. So blessed are they who hunger and thirst for God’s righteousness, because they will be satisfied. God Himself will answer with Himself. All there is.
Here, as we cry out to the Lord, we wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning. Watchmen wait for the morning with confidence that morning will come. No matter how dark, long, cold and frightening the night may be, they know the sun will rise and put the darkness to flight, and dawn will break over the horizon and the night will be no more.
This same assurance is for us who choose to wait on the Lord. No matter how distant and silent He may seem, no matter how long we must wait for answers and direction, we have the assurance that He will answer, He will lead, He will deliver, He will reveal Himself. If we can have confidence the rising of the sun, how much more can we have confidence in the One who causes it to rise. And what joy we have when morning does come.
So we put our hope in the Lord, not in fulfilled dreams or perfect circumstances or our own ability or other people. We hope in the Lord and in the promises of His Word, for He is faithful, even in the deep.