When I was a girl, the women in my life who were mentors and role models were women who had gotten married by the end of their twenties. They were wives and moms, and this shaped the examples they set for me of being a godly woman.
My life has looked different from their’s, as I’m now 30 and still single. Through all these years of singleness, I haven’t had many examples of what it looks like to be a single godly woman.
In my early twenties, I struggled with deep discontentment in my singleness. I knew that Jesus promised a life of fullness and abundance (see John 10:10), but I believed my life wouldn’t be fully abundant until I was married. I would often think thoughts like, If only I were married, then life would be good, then I would be happy, then I would feel complete.
Rather than seeing singleness as a gift - a gift just as joyful, beautiful, and purposeful as marriage - I saw it as something less - less joyful, beautiful, and purposeful.
I sat around a bonfire with some of my single friends as each one shared what the hardest part about being single was for them.
There was a common thread among our answers that sort of surprised me. It wasn’t the loneliness, it wasn’t the doubting our attractiveness, it wasn’t the feeling not good enough, it wasn’t the comparisons or envy that many named as the hardest.
It was the not knowing when our singleness would end and a romantic relationship would begin.