When I was a girl, the women in my life who were mentors and role models were women who had gotten married by the end of their twenties. They were wives and moms, and this shaped the examples they set for me of being a godly woman.

My life has looked different from their’s, as I’m now 30 and still single. Through all these years of singleness, I haven’t had many examples of what it looks like to be a single godly woman.

​In my early twenties, I struggled with deep discontentment in my singleness. I knew that Jesus promised a life of fullness and abundance (see John 10:10), but I believed my life wouldn’t be fully abundant until I was married. I would often think thoughts like, If only I were married, then life would be good, then I would be happy, then I would feel complete.

Rather than seeing singleness as a gift - a gift just as joyful, beautiful, and purposeful as marriage - I saw it as something less - less joyful, beautiful, and purposeful.

​I was at one of those events that all the family and family friends come to. I greeted one friend I hadn’t seen in quite awhile, and we began catching up.

After sharing about different aspects of my life, from work to DIY projects to travel, the inevitable question came: Have you met anyone special yet?

I answered that no, I hadn’t met anyone special yet, and as the conversation came to a close, they said with a consoling smile, “Well, it sounds like you’re just waiting for the one.”

As I write these words, I’m debating on what to do this evening.

Normally, I would go to Bible study with friends, but since I’m dealing with some allergy-sinus-yuck, I’m considering staying home and resting.

It may seem like a simple decision, but I’m having a hard time deciding, because I don’t want to miss out.

I sat around a bonfire with some of my single friends as each one shared what the hardest part about being single was for them.

There was a common thread among our answers that sort of surprised me. It wasn’t the loneliness, it wasn’t the doubting our attractiveness, it wasn’t the feeling not good enough, it wasn’t the comparisons or envy that many named as the hardest.

It was the not knowing when our singleness would end and a romantic relationship would begin.