​I was once told by a 9 year-old girl that if I had gone to college, I would probably be married by now.

I was 24 at the time. Now I’m almost 30, and I’m still single.

Maybe that 9 year-old girl was right?

I know countless couples who met in college. But I also know countless couples who didn’t meet until after college or who didn’t go to college and still met. And I know countless single women who never went to college or who ended college with no ring by spring.

​While it’s funny that a 9 year-old would give relationship and life advice, there are times when I don’t feel like laughing.

God, could you just take away my desire to be married?

With tears in my eyes and desperation in my voice, I prayed this prayer. But I didn’t really meant it. I didn’t really want God to take away my desire to be married, because I wanted to be married.

I was just so tired of feeling discontent in my singleness, but didn’t see how I could be content while still having the desire to be married. Since there wasn’t an end to my singleness in sight, I halfheartedly prayed for an end to that desire.

I’m thankful God didn’t answer that prayer, because the motivations behind it weren’t based on truth, but on lies.

​Since this fall, I’ve been working on a devotional for single women, and have been loving the whole process of bringing this dream to life. This devotional contains so many topics that are near to my heart, and I can’t wait to get it into your hands!

But despite the fact that I am loving the writing, and writing about things I’m passionate about, there are a lot of doubts that role through my mind as I put words to the page.

Mostly self-doubts.

I question if I could really write words for single women that will help them. I see so many others writing on these topics, doing such a great job, and I wonder if my little devotional would really make a difference. 

​I work at an elementary school as a lunch lady, and the one and only time someone has ever asked me to be their Valentine was when I was wearing an apron and hair net.

Attractive, I know.

It was actually one of the boys who went to the school. I’m old enough to be his mom. As he came through the line, he declared to me, “You’re my Valentine!”

It was sweet and made me smile. I wished him a happy Valentine’s day and wondered how many other teachers and staff he had made the same declaration to.
 
Like I said, that’s the one and only time I was asked to be someone’s Valentine. (And I wasn’t even really asked!)

Growing up, there’s I song I would sing as a kid in church:

This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine…

Maybe it’s a song you’ve heard and sung over the years too.

It’s a simple and catchy song for kids, but its message is clear: as followers of Jesus, we are to be a light in this world.

But even though I sung this song with enthusiasm, even though I knew I was supposed to “shine my light”, even though it's a catchy phrase, I didn’t always know what it meant to be a light, or how I could.

​​Especially because I often don’t feel all that bright or shiny or special.